I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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