Do vagina's smell?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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