i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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