Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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