You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
