My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
