And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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