I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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