you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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