Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
