Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
