Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
