Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
