Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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