I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
