Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your penis caused this!
And then he peed in my hair
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