I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
