After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
