I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
