Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
