i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
