so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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