I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
