Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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