Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
