He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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