i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
