he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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