Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
