maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
