made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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