ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
