using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
