i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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