He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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