my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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