boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
