dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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