I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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