perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
