she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize