K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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