Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The ass gains better be worth it
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