im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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