I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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