Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
