I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
