Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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