dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
