This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
