he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
