we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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