Where did you get a picture of my penis
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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