Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
