Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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