somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
