so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
