ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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