in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
