You're completely useless in the revolution.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
