and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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